Sunday, November 2, 2008

ahhhh BofA...how art thou I love thee....

Here she is. My first official blog post. Now I've participated in forums, adding a comment or two here and there (usually in the context of markcomm, CGM, Husky Football, bad politics, good restaurants, bad service, salacious storylines---TMZ, Perez, anything Gawker---and sometimes helping to promote the Boys & Girls Clubs or Big Brothers/Big Sisters. 

But now is time. Time to live and share. The lessons of CLOW. Wow. Where to start.

How about a little story about a recent day I celebrated while working in Manhattan. 
It was a Thursday after what seemed like a never ending series of meetings with clients and peers and bosses. Good times, lots of successful relationships being established or further entrenched. But what happens when the good times turn sour. And by sour, I mean chasing the theft of your cellphone (which has more than a fair share of IP living on it) by having someone then steal your identity via your BofA check acct.

So I roll with it. My company T-Mobile phone gets jacked. Ok. Then some other knuckleclucker goes off and runs up an obscene strip club bill later that day, then chases that expense with heading to T-Mobile to buy himself a new piece of technology to whisper sweet nothings into. So I head over to T-Mobile and buy myself a replacement phone. Here is where the story gets real interesting. And by interesting, I mean stupid and bizarre and frustrating thanks in large part to the inability of T-Mobile and BofA to get their shit together. 

The punchline to this drama---and I will leave out most of the knitty gritty particulars--- is to keep your eye on the ball. When travelling, don't put things down on the counter in a bathroom or on the bar stool next to you in the swank hotel lobby bar if you actually want to leave with it. Stupid.

And, never, and I mean never, expect to get smart, traditional customer service from the BANK OF AMERICA if you actually live and bank in Washington State yet need to access your account from New York City. I personally would help pay for BofA to overhaul their CRM system so when I travel to NY, Chi, LA, LV, PHX, Portland, etc. that it doesn't take 2 hours to fix a simple problem. Way too much stress. One hour with a banker named Irvica (thanks, you were great), chased by one hour dealing with no less than four tellers (two Sr reps, two trainees). This took place during lunchtime in midtown in a two teller window BofA. The line which formed behind ran out the door. People were not pleased. I was not pleased. Especially after one teller ---after asking me "why are you so excitable"---tells me she "can't find my money." Nice. Our world and nation's economy is tanking, someone just stole my identity and ran up a $1200 splurge, and you can't find a five figure amount of my hard earned savings in your computer. 

Deep breaths got me through that exercise.

So, the lessons:

- keep your eye on the ball. If you're moving so fast that you start leaving things behind (credit cards, cell phones, six-irons, etc.), slow down. Believe me, it's cheaper to "walk a little" than just run full steam through life leaving a wake.

- don't expect to ever get good service at BofA. Never. Pathetic. Really. Get the database thing fixed. Please. You are BANK OF AMERICA. The states did not secede. They stayed together and we even added a few. So if you go out and add a bank or two, especially the size of Seafirst, add them to your systems. Really. Your clients who actually bank with you will appreciate the effort. 

-NY, NY - great place to visit, great place to work hard for a few days. But run to the airport as fast as you can and return to the quiet and tranquil and familiar of home. 'cause this place is full too much crazy, too many vices, and too many things that force you to take the eye of the prize!!!

CLOW
 

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